Why you should join my clan in preparation for the Zombie Apocalypse

So today was the third time in recent memory when a friend proclaimed, "If the apocalypse ever happens, I need to make sure I'm near you, because then I'll survive."

And so, I thought I'd elaborate about why I'm awesome in general (and also to make myself feel better for staying in on a Friday night because I'm getting over a cold).

So why would you want me to lead you through the Zombie Apocalypse? (Or, maybe a bit more timely, why should you seek out my company before an impending natural disaster?)

Well, friends, here are a few reasons:

1. I grew up on a farm. Big deal, you say. So what does this get you? Should the McDonalds and Chipotles of the world close down, Not only can I cook whatever food we can find, I can also grow delicious veggies to eat, should the world come to that. I also know how to butcher chickens and grind wheat to make flour. I think now all I have to do is learn to brew beer and distill spirits and I'll have all those sustenance-related bases covered. And I'm not afraid to roll up my sleeves and do the heavy lifting.

2. I know how to sew, knit and crochet. So I can mend the inevitable holes in your jeans, and make hats, mittens, sweaters and blankets to keep you warm. If we find a sheep to sheer, I could probably also figure out how to make my own yarn. I've seen a few demonstrations in those historical village things... Also, if we find sheep, well, we'll have mutton for dinner.

3. Contrary to the popular female gender misconception, I am actually quite good with maps and directions. Also, I know how to read an old-fashioned map (not just turn on the GPS on my phone). I even know how to use a compass! I can figure out where we are and get us where we need to be.

4. (This one was new today) - I work in tech, so should we come across any sort of electronic device that may provide information, I could probably figure out how to procure said information from said device. Ok, ok, I know that one is a bit of a stretch, but hey, worth a shot.

5. I can drive stick shift. Remember that scene in Independence Day when Vivica A. Fox finds the big truck to drive around and then meets the First Lady? Yeah, that'll happen. "You're a dancer? Oh, I love the ballet..."

6. I know stuff about cars. I've changed oil, batteries, tires and alternators on several cars. If the big truck we commandeer breaks down, or if we find an already broken-down jalopy to steal, there's a 50% chance I'll be able to fix it. Which is much higher than the 0% odds you'll have with some other people.

7. I become multi-lingual (when intoxicated). I can speak Spanish (poorly) and German (poorly). In the event we need to count to 10, ask for beer, or check in to a hotel with someone speaking either of these languages, I will provide some (very little, actually) value.

Cool, right? SO. Should you find yourself wondering what to do the next time a tornado/hurricane/herd of zombies is approaching, head my way. If I like you enough, I'll guarantee your survival. If I don't like you that much, I might still help you, but you may have to pay me. In the event that commonly accepted currency becomes worthless, or the power goes out and we can't get money out of ATMs, we can barter.

T-Minus 4 Days

...till I turn 29. Not that excited about it. But hey, more adventures, right?

So. Where am I? This past month has been... I don't even know. Crazy. I came to a few conclusions about life, hosted a good friend while she was back in town and said farewell to my bestie who shipped out to another hemisphere. So where does that leave me now? Not entirely sure.

So, first things first. What have I learned recently? Two things:
1. Life's too short
to worry, to feel bad, to be upset, to dwell on things. There are an infinite number of things in the world that I have absolutely no control over. It does me no good to worry about them, or to get upset about the way they think or act, or to lose sleep over it. A few weeks ago I went to a Brewers game and wore my Rickie Weeks jersey because Rickie is my fave. I went to a bar after the game and a mean old man blew past me in a huff on the sidewalk and turns around and yells back, "Weeks? I can't believe you'd even leave the house with that shirt on!" Rude? Yes. Worth me getting upset about? No. Sports teams are like politicians. Nothing I say or do will ever change a Cubs fan's mind, so it's not really worth arguing about. Was the man rude? Yes. Should he probably have kept that comment to himself, given it was bar time? Yeah. Is it going to keep me from wearing my Rickie jersey any more? NO!

I have encountered a few other rude people in the last few weeks. I won't bother to recount them here because people like that don't need recognition. I'm not letting me keep it up at night.

I have also come to the startling conclusion that neither I nor anyone I know seems to have access to a time machine (at least that they're willing to admit... and let me borrow). I have a coworker who keeps wanting to rehash past events in hopes of changing the present. It won't happen. I'll work on fixing the problem for the future, but getting upset about something that happened in March doesn't mean that the project isn't still in the toilet. I've moved on. Everybody else needs to as well.

2. Everybody hates their job.
Ok, hate is a strong word. Everybody has something they don't like about their job. If it's not an annoying coworker one place, it's a stingy benefits package or long hours at another place. No job is perfect. The key to dealing with it is to find a place where the good outweighs the bad. I'm still confident that my job is a good fit for me. I really enjoy most of it. There are a few things that I don't like about it, but for that... refer to #1.

In other news...
It's been an emotionally reeling month. In addition to realizing #s 1 and 2 above, I spent the last few weeks with my bestie on his farewell tour of the US. Well, it sort of started in Pittsburgh. When we got back, he quit his job, released his apartment, cleaned out his safe deposit box, threw a "Depart-y", and "stored" his TV to my living room (because really, why would someone want to keep it in a damp, dingy storage locker?). Well, he finally got on the plane on Saturday. I talked to him on Gchat today from Hanoi. Apparently his socks were rancid after 36 hours of traveling... what a surprise. I'll miss him. But he's always just a click away.

Also over the last week, my good friend Bridgit was visiting from Germany, where she moved 3 years ago. I love when Bridgit comes back because I miss her and I really enjoy catching up with her, and also because we get to do all of the "American" things that she misses - namely Red Lobster and anything at Mayfair Mall. This year we caught Batman on the IMAX screen there (better than the Ultra Screen at Marcus, IMO), and did a whole bunch of shopping. It was a great (although exhausting) time.

So the Depart-y, plus Bridgit's triumphant return, plus salty popcorn at Wolski's, combined to form an amazing, beer-filled, low-sleep weekend. Top it all off with a postcard from Cape Cod, and I was pretty happy.

And sad, and bittersweet, but mostly happy. And grateful for all of my amazing friends here, there, and everywhere. I hope 29 will be just as good.

7 Days of Music

Wow, 2 posts in less than a month!

Summerfest was exceptionally good this year. So good, in fact, that I went 6 times. I only paid $36 for tickets so I think that's a win. Here, in calendar order, are my reviews:

June 27: Steve Miller Band. I only paid attention for 3 or 4 songs (woo hoo fireworks!) but was pleasantly reminded that they sing Dance Dance Dance, a song that I always loved growing up. Here you go:

I'll admit, I'm not the world's greatest SMB fan, but it feels good to say that I've seen them.

June 28: After a moment of brief fear over who would accompany me, I went to see the first show in 12 years from Ben Folds Five. It. Was. AWESOME. They jammed, they goofed around, they covered surfer rock songs, and just looked like they were having fun. Ben Folds Live was great a few years ago because I really like Rockin the Suburbs, but it was good to hear the old stuff performed by the whole group. Cuts off their new album sounded good too, so I'm looking forward to getting my hands on that. On a side note, Summerfest needs to do a lot better next year in communicating how the BMO stage works. When/where to get tickets, traffic flow with the hand stamp folks, etc. It was frustrating at best. Hopefully they'll figure it out next year!

After 2 days of Milwaukee heat, I hopped a plane to Pittsburgh with my bestie to see Roger Waters perform The Wall. Hands down, this is the best show I've ever seen. Growing up, I always knew that there are social undertones to this album. Seeing it in person was actually very interesting  and moving because it brought the feelings of the 70s to life in 2012. I have always wondered what the world was like during those pivotal years - the Vietnam War, the Watergate break-in and all of the other things going on causing distrust in government. The show was visually stunning and acoustically perfect. It was really more like seeing a play at a theatre than seeing a rock show in an arena. If they ever tour again, I'll be there.

A quick note on Pittsburgh: it's a great city. I'd love to take a long weekend there and catch a Brewers-Pirates series. The Carnegie Museum is one of the greatest museums I've seen in a long time. There is a great permanent exhibit on minerals and gemstones, and there was an absolutely gorgeous Impressionist exhibit that was curated amazingly well. The Cathedral of Learning at the University of Pittsburgh was awesome. It looks like Harry Potter (I can't lie). Very cool that something like this exists stateside.

Ok, back to Milwaukee.

July 5: The Avett Brothers. I made some new friends at this show, and I'm looking forward to seeing them again this Friday. Oh, and the show was great too. The band rocked out. I've been listening to them nonstop ever since.

July 6: OAR (attempted). Stopped in by AWOLNATION to see Dave. He's invented a new dance. Look for it at the next wedding you go to, right in between The Sprinkler and The Shopping Cart. Was going to swing by Paul Oakenfold but I ran into some coworkers.... I gave Matty a tattoo with a Sharpie and Kiran and I decided to go and get pierced. Made it over to OAR for the last 2 songs. Almost got kidnapped to the south side of Milwaukee.... but walked home instead (probably a good idea).

July 7: Cake. I've always wanted to see these guys. I thought the crowd would be mostly my age since I listened to them a lot in college but there were a lot of people in their 30s and even 40s there, which was cool. They were very good, but did not play Italian Leather Sofa like I was hoping. It was also a much more mellow show than I was expecting. They played a few songs of their new self-released album that just sounded great. I'll be picking that one up too.

July 8: Neil Diamond. 'Nuff said. Work treated us again this year, and many of my older colleagues were surprised to find out that yes, I know who Neil Diamond is, and that I know most of the lyrics to his songs. And not just because of Saving Silverman.

Overall, it was a good few days. Next year I'm getting the Summerfest Power Pass so I can relive it all over again (hopefully 2013 has another quality lineup!).


Other than that, I've been coming down off of a 3-week bender. I've been trying to eat healthier, which is sort of working, but not as well as I would have hoped. This next week should be more calm so hopefully I can get started. Again.

I've been emotionally drained lately. There has been a lot going on with my family and my friends and I've been going a bit out of my mind trying to be supportive of everybody. I love y'all a lot.... but I'm gonna take a few days for myself, so nobody do anything crazy, ok? thanks.

Hey guys, remember me?

And remember when I used to keep a blog? Yeah, that was a long time ago. Well, this is mostly for Tony, since he's the only one who mentioned this tiny section of the intertubes in the last few months.

A few things:
1. I am a closet Gallophile. Despite my country girl persona, I really love the language (even though I can't speak it), and the food, and the culture, and the propensity towards evil ( seemingly delicious?) cigarettes, and their mother-f*$#^$% croque monsieurs. And their delicious Bordeaux. There, I admit it. Now you all know. And I want to go back. SO BAD.

2. I kind of have a crush on Harry Connick, Jr.

3. I've been to 9 Brewers games so far this year. 1 more scheduled before the All-Star break. Odds are 50/50 that I will beat last season's record of attending 21 games (including playoffs). Now taking bets. Is it legal for me to be the bookie on this?

3. (a.) I discovered yesterday that I remembered how to keep score in baseball. I haven't had the opportunity in 3-4 years (mostly because I don't get in to Miller Park until the bottom of the 2nd), but I was appointed official scorekeeper for Ben's softball team this week and it was quite rewarding. I did a stellar job, if I do say so myself.

3. (b.) I'm on a mission to find the nail polish that most closely resembles 1982 blue. I found one at Metro Market that's about 80% there, but it's not perfect. Only the best for THIS superfan. Suggestions appreciated!

4. I'm going to Pittsburgh next month. What's cool to do there? Also, is PNC park worth seeing?

Time Flies

...and seasons change. Funny looking back on my last post... Sept 19. A few days after that, my life changed a lot. I was feeling pretty good about everything, I had started running again, the Brewers were winning, and I was looking forward to fall (my favorite season) and eventually snowboarding. Now, um, well I guess I'm still looking forward to snowboarding. I've been through a lot. I've learned a lot, both about myself, about others, and about trust. I'm getting through it. Thanks to those who were there for me, and those who put up with me when I may have been less than pleasant. Your patience is appreciated more than you will ever know. 

twenty-old

A few things:

Last Wednesday (Sept 14) was the 2-year anniversary of my tattoo. I'm still in love with it.

19 days ago, I turned 28. I have decided that there are two phases of one's twenties: twenty-baby and twenty-old. Guess what that makes me. Not feeling my age though... will take it as a good sign.

I broke the "o" key on my laptop... drinking accident. Now it's just the little plastic bubble thing underneath. It's odd. $5 for a new one. FIVE BUCKS! I'm considering going without it.

After a 2-month hiatus, I started running again. Funnily enough, almost exactly 2 months ago, I wrote that I was going to run more. Oops. I also decided that I'm not going to feel bad that I'm not training for a marathon. It's not for me. I'm done worrying about it.

After I went for a run today, I ate a bunch of cheese. Oops. On a related note, it's nice that it's getting cool outside again, so hopefully I won't put off running in the nice cool 50s and 60s.

In general, I feel pretty good about life right now.

Hot Hot Heat Update

In case you've somehow missed the news, it's HOT outside.

Actually right now it's somewhat tolerable. But in the next few hours its going to heat up again and become gross. I've been up for an hour now so I should probably start working towards my run...

At any rate, I'm making some new rules. I think I should be able to stick to them. I find that posting on my blog makes me more accountable to the 2 folks that might stumble onto this. So here goes:

1. I will no longer become upset when I find out that people who are generally in the same friend group as me invite people to do things and exclude me. If they have a problem with me and aren't mature enough to address it with me, then I don't need to be friends with them. If they just happened to forget, I will realize that mistakes happen and get over it.

2. I will run more. Even if it's hot.

3. I will work to find out why I'm having issues sleeping and do stuff to change it. Yes, I may even go and see a doctor.

So... we'll see how this all goes.

UNO MAS

One year ago today, I started my job. They seem to like me so far. At least that's what I like to think (I keep baking treats, that probably has something to do with it). It's amazing to look back at how much I've grown and changed in the last year. I still have a lot to learn. But sometimes I catch myself in meetings saying things, and I sort of hear myself from outside of my brain and I think, "wow, that chick sort of knows what she's talking about." Then I realize it's me, and it still seems a bit weird, but it's cool too. I'll take it.

Up and coming!

Well well. Lots of stuff coming up in the near future.

BUT FIRST!

I'm pretty sure that only 2 of my friends (neither of which read this blog) know that I have a minor infatuation with Dr. Seuss. (My favorite book is If I Ran The Circus, fyi.) While all the rhymes are wonderful and the drawings are whimsical, and we learned that you don't really need a Sneed, I was more interested in Dr. Seuss' contributions to the older audiences - he created a fair amount of propaganda during World War II. A lot of the themes from these drawings actually carried over into characters and messages found in the children's books for which he is most popular.

This has a point, I swear.

I had a book. It was called "The Seuss, The Whole Seuss, And Nothing But The Seuss." It was really quite an interesting book. I lent this book to someone, within about the last 8-12 months, and I cannot for the life of me remember who it was. And I have recently wanted to make reference to said book, but alas, I cannot, because I don't know where said book is!

SO. Since you were all so helpful in offering me sources for couches, I thought I might ask: Did I lend this book to any of you? You can hang on to it for a while, just let me know if you have it so I know that I'm not going insane!

Ok, moving right along. I'm really excited to move! In a little over a month, I'll be in the new place, which is 2x bigger than the current place. Oh, and my bedroom will NOT be the same room as my living room. I cleaned out another drawer yesterday. I'm hoping to have another carload of stuff for Goodwill before I make the move. I've basically been trying to pare down my life for the last year or two, and this moving thing is really helping! (Plus I have one less closet in the new place so I've got to get rid of some of the stuff!)

What else? On May 10, I will have been at my job for a full year. I'm sure I'll write more sappy reflective stuff by then, but it's been a lot for me to think about lately, considering the events of the last 2 years. It's definitely been an interesting ride.

Last weekend was Easter. I went home and saw the whole family and ate WAY TOO MUCH FOOD. My grandma makes these amazing sour-cream-and-chive-twice-baked-potato things that are pretty much the most amazing thing ever done with potatoes. There are no less than 20,000 calories and 900 grams of fat in every helping, but of course, none of this counts when Grandma makes it. Other delicious food from the weekend included cream cheese waffles, fish fry, blueberry oatmeal muffins and beef sticks from the local butcher. (Craig... they DO ship!)

Other upcoming events include the DII and DIII Midwest Rugby Final Four - my brother is playing on Saturday and Sunday. Anybody wanna go to Madison with me on Saturday and watch a bunch of guys tackle each other in the mud? It's really quite entertaining. I'll even drive.

For the last 3 weeks or so, I've been having the absolute craziest dreams. They're different every time. Other than drinking till I pass out, I can't really figure out a way to be tired enough to not remember my dreams. Gosh that sounds weird. I'll figure it out eventually I hope.

Well that's all for now, I suppose I should go lay in bed till the crazy dreams start. Right?

Milwaukee Day!

HOLY CATS! 2 POSTS IN 8 DAYS!!! Who am I and what have I done with the real Lars??

Anyway. Today is 4/14 - Milwaukee Day! A month after Pi day, some creative folks have gotten together to celebrate our great city. It's no secret that I'm a big fan of Milwaukee proper and all good things that come with it, so naturally I was thrilled when this popped up on my Twitter feed last night and today. I spent a fair amount of time at work today checking up on the hash tag for all the reasons to love Milwaukee, and cracked up at plenty of them as well.

Aside from all of the beer and amazing food, one of the things I love the most about this city is the passion that my fellow residents share for the 414. It really does make the November-like weather we've been having lately a lot more bearable when you know that there are hundreds (if not thousands) of peeps out there who don't want to be any place else on the planet.

Fun fact: I was born in the 414, but not in Milwaukee. Up until 1997 my dear hometown of K-hole was covered by the 414 as well. For a history of the 414 area code, click here. For a fun story about a Milwaukee-based Boy Scout computer hacker gang from 1983, click here. You can't make this stuff up! (who knew they had hackers in the 80s??)

So, in other news, I got a couch! Thanks to Brian, who is moving to MN and looking to lighten his moving truck. Now I need a TV.... Where's a good place to buy a TV? As I pointed out to my coworkers today, I'm not a dude, I don't play video games, and the only sport I watch is baseball, so there's really no need for me to have a state-of-the-art super duper thinger with all the bells and whistles. My main requirement is that it has a VGA input so I can plug in my computer and stream The Daily Show on the big screen. Who doesn't want to see Jon Stewart on demand?? No one I can think of. Also, does anyone want my old tube TV? can I donate it to someone somewhere?

Hmmm, what else? I just updated this thing a week ago so I can't really say there's much new. I baked Banana Bars for work tomorrow, with cream cheese buttercream frosting. I'm looking forward to eating at least a third of the pan... yum.

Ok, that's all I've got for now, it's time for bed. I was absolutely spent at work today. I barely made it through the afternoon!

I'm becoming one of THOSE people

I realized today that I'm pretty sure I'm one of THOSE people. I discussed hyper-local elections (alderman, anyone?), I only listen to NPR or occasionally 88.9 in my car, and instead of sitting back and letting my brain turn to mush with another episode of The Middle, I instead choose to watch BBC News followed by Nightly Business Report on PBS. (Of course, I will be switching to Criminal Minds when all of this newsy-nonsense is done.)

I never thought I'd end up here. My mind is absolutely fried every day from work and yet I'd rather watch news and form opinions on it than turn on some stupid sitcom! 10-years-ago Lars would not recognize me.

So... what's new. Opening Day was a glorious shit show. Unfortunately they lost, but really, I'll take the 0-4 start because Yo had an absolutely STELLAR game to bring us our first win last night. I'm looking forward to our first game in our "regular" 9-pack seats on Friday, and to meeting up with the old gang.

After much bothering from a friend, I finally listened to Gayngs. They're... interesting. I think I could actually really get into them. They have a great interesting sound. One song, The Last Prom on Earth sounds like someone revisited their Boyz II Men tapes. I know that actually sounds quite horrible, but give the whole disc a listen, and we can discuss. (I think that's the first music review I've ever done on this blog...)

In other news, I need a couch. Why, do you ask? Cuz I'm moving. 50 feet. That's right, I'm getting a new (bigger) apartment in my same building, starting June 1. So I need a couch. Anybody know of a good place to get a couch? I also seem to recall a discussion of moving (I mean pushing stuff down the hall) and something about bikini tops and mai tai's. That may have been decided at Opening Day. Look for details of a housewarming party.... after I get a couch.

It's a TRAP!

Ok, got this stuck in my head earlier today and looks like it'll be here for a while:

Also, not sure if anyone followed @MayorEmanuel these past few months, but it was definitely quite entertaining. This is a very interesting article about the entire phenomenon. Kind of almost makes me hate Chicago just a liiiiiiiiiitle less. (not much though.)

Thanks to Craig for the link. Thanks also to Craig and Tony for cast iron pumpernickel horseradish red wine reduction something meat deliciousness last night. You two are good people.

Last week/weekend/this week so far have been completely mind-numbingly overwhelming for me. I need a vacation, BIG TIME. And I'm REALLY looking forward to Opening Day (33 days! 33 days! 33 days!!!). As for my vacation, it might end up being a stay-cation, which means that I'll take off a Friday and then end up working from home for half of the day. There needs to be a better way! Anybody want to take off of work on a weekday and check out the Mummies exhibit?

NOLA pics!

Ok, here you go.

Part one: I happened upon an amazing jazz band just chillin in the middle of Royal Street. Like it was their job. Well, I'm pretty sure it was their job cuz they were selling CDs. At any rate, here's the crew:

They even brought their own tap dancer! (on the left).

Well as I'm sure you know, these guys were mostly just awesome. Two of them in particular had really awesome personalities that showed through in both their musical styles and their interactions with the crowd - the bass player and the tenor sax dude with the aviators.

They also brought a tiny dog to their jam session (you can see him between the tenor sax and the trumpet). Good times.

Part 2: I went for a walk down Canal Street. I may or may not have been trying to do that cool trendy hipster thing with my camera where you make the entire picture be black and white except for just the one color but I'm not entirely sure if it worked. Anyway, here are some pictures I took:

Awesome50's style Walgreens:

Soooooo awesome. Want to go back. Also Jason paid me $5 for eating all of the powdered sugar of my plate of biegnets at Cafe du Monde. Most delicious $5 ever.

Mid (hah, late) February Update

Ok, well at least I'm on track for 1+ post/month. Maybe if you're lucky I'll throw another one up by next Monday. Maybe.

At any rate, what is new? Here's a few:

1. Thanks to Megs, who sadly is moving to San Francisco. I will miss her greatly. But I will think of her every time I use the following things that she donated to my life: Kitchen island, wok (gorgeous, might I add), magazine holders, and a new house plant that is fitting in quite nicely with my cookie jar/liquor shelf/Virgin Mary figurine setup. She also gave me some delicious homemade pickles and dilly beans. Do I detect some jalapeño in the pickles??

2. I got new running tights. I'm pretty pumped about these because my old pair will be exactly 13 years old last month (I paid $12 for them in freshman year track... talk about a quality investment!). I also ran 2.4 miles today. go me!

3. Borders is going out of business. We stopped by during lunch today and I got a book about serial killers and an exercise band with a DVD. That's not weird at all, right? Right??

4. I'm going to lunch with Yesh on Thursday before she hops town again. We're going back to the Borders for mission:kids books for the baby shower for Nora next month. I'm kind of excited.

Oh look, I haven't uploaded my NOLA pics yet. Holy cats! 2 posts in one day! Lucky you!

Inspiration: Don't Get Arrested

I'm not this crazy... thank goodness. But this is a good thing for ranch addicts like me to keep in mind:

via

One Week In

Ok, 9 days in. (This is the first year since I learned how to read that I didn't get a calendar for xmas... looks like I need to drag my butt out and buy one.)

Anyway. 9 days in to the new year. Here is my obligatory resolution update:

1. I talked with a musician friend and now have an idea of where to start looking for a ukulele. Progress!

2. I've made lots of bad decisions, mostly regarding all of the gross (and delicious) food I've been eating. Like the buffalo wings I had today. And the buffalo wings I had yesterday. And the buffalo wings I had on Wednesday.... yeah. At what point do I admit that I have an addiction....? What is rock bottom when it comes to buffalo wings?

In other news. Well. I've been meaning to get new plants in my apartment. The one I had since 2003 (Herb) died last year so I'm trying to decide what I should get. Does anyone have any beloved houseplants they want to give me a cutting of? I'm not wild about buying them at Home Depot.

So... sorry I don't have much other news. Lots of changes happening at work. It's going to be tough but I'm looking forward do it. Because it might end up being awesome.

You Guessed It! (Insert Obligatory New Years Resolution Post Here)

Well, you should have come to expect this from me by now. Every year I list the same resolutions with newfound resolve that I really will lose weight, and save money, and read for 2 hours a day, and save the world, and learn to fly, and on and on and... bleh. I actually decided a few weeks ago that I wasn't going to do that again this year. I was going to keep it simple. So here you go:

2011 Resolutions:

1. Obtain and learn to play a ukulele

2. Don't make bad decisions

Seems pretty easy, right? I thought so. The first one is pretty self-explanatory.

The second, however, has drawn some controversy from the few folks I have disclosed this to. They immediately struck back with the "rules" about making a goal measurable, and trying to define it, and bla bla bla.

Yes, I thought about that. And I thought that my resolution would be easier to apply. For example: instead of saying that I want to lose 10 lbs, and limit my ranch dressing consumption, and go to the gym 3 times a week, I will instead say that I'll try not to make bad decisions. I already have a pretty decent gym routine established; skipping would be a bad decision. I'm not dumb, I know what a healthy meal is; gorging myself on buffalo wings and ranch and tacos and whatever else I can find is a bad decision. So instead of always staring at the scale or the mile count or whatever measurement I can find and feeling lost and disheartened at my apparent lack of progress, I can instead manage this on a micro level, and (hopefully) gain some more confidence. And a side effect of this whole process would be losing 10 lbs or whatever the heck is the underlying thing I'm trying to get at.

And it can apply to other things too. But that's between me and a future blog post, and whomever I may or may not text message in the wee hours of the morning. wait. what?

At any rate, I wish myself luck. I appreciate any help/encouragement from friends (as well as being called out when I DO make bad decisions, because I already know a few of them are coming....). So. Here goes nothing!

Bacon Cake with Maple Bacon Buttercream Frosting

Yes, I know, you've been dying for me to turn this into a cooking blog. And what better recipe to start with than one that contains a pound of BACON?!?!?? You're excited, I can tell.

Anyway. Last night, for New Year's Eve, we planned a bacon-themed soiree before heading out to shows/bars/wherever we ended up. It was also a dear friend's birthday, and apparently I'm becoming known as a "bakestress" of sorts (I say that mostly in jest), so I was nominated to make a bacon-themed cake. So here's what I did.

First, I made the bacon. I bought 1 lb of Oscar Mayer Hickory smoked something or other deliciousness. I like to make my bacon in the oven - put a cooling rack in a jelly roll pan and preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place strips of bacon on the cooling rack and bake for 30 mins, turning once after 15 mins. This makes the bacon chewy but also slightly crispy -

just how I like it! It also helps drain off a decent amount of fat.

Then, I used the google to find a white cake recipe: click

Though it doesn't say to, I would recommend using clear vanilla extract for a true white cake. I also added an extra 1/2 c. of flour because I anticipated the bacon grease messing with the consistency of the cake... not sure I'd do that again. Then I took 1/2 lb of bacon and cut it into pieces about 1/2" square and folded them into the batter before I put into the 2 pans. This makes a somewhat dense cake. I might try and find a new recipe for a fluffier cake in the future... or just use a box mix.

After the rounds cooled, I made this:

Maple Bacon Butterceam Frosting

5 T. butter, softened

3 - 3 1/2 c. powdered sugar

1/4 c. maple syrup

1-2 T. milk

1/2 c. cooked bacon, cooled - chop into "bacon bits" size in food processor

Using electric mixer, cream butter. Alternate adding powdered sugar and maple syrup. Add milk to attain desired texture. Blend in about 1/3 c. bacon. Frost away!

I then sprinkled (most) of the remaining bacon bits on the top of the cake. (I ate the rest.)

Anyway, the result was a pretty savory cake. I personally would have liked it to be a little more maple-y, perhaps even with adding maple syrup to the cake mix. Definitely worth playing around with some more. Also, the frosting sort of looks like a bad case of acne. I seriously considered making another batch of plain buttercream frosting to go on top, but I thought that might be overkill. It looked better when I put the bacon bits on top.

Here are two beautiful models, and the cake is somewhere in the background. Thanks to Megs for the pic!

And so this is xmas

And what have you done? I always find myself saying that this time of year. Then I play through the whole song in my head, and basically end up being sad that John Lennon isn't around anymore. Weird, I know.

Anyway, it's Christmas Eve. I'm glad I'm here. I've had a rough last few months (and especially last two weeks), but I feel better about it all now. I just needed some time to step back and revel in the simplicity and the silence that is Kewaunee. For as much as I know I'm going to be annoyed with this place in another 36 hours, I'm really happy to be here right now. There's more snow up here than there is in Milwaukee, and even though I don't have my snowboard (or anywhere nearby to actually go snowboarding), it makes me really happy. It's also way more quiet up here. Yes, I'm used to it from growing up here, but it's just relaxing to think about it (unlike a few months ago when the power went out in my neighborhood and I woke up cuz it was too quiet).

At any rate... I just realized in the last 3 hours or so that I'm pretty sure I can recite" 'Twas The Night Before Christmas" by heart. That's not weird, right?

Other learnings from today: my brother Andy actually can read (he got the new Tucker Max book) [this is a joke, we always knew he could read...], you need to stagger your baking pans in the oven, we must have tipped my mom off about the Kindle and she was actually visibly upset when we didn't give it to her right away (we hid it... don't worry, we gave it to her eventually), my cat goes nuts for catnip and attacks me (although she never used to), and my sis and I both stuff our cash in our bras. Awesome, I know! And you know how they say your family becomes more tolerable with age? Well, that's definitely true. If you would have told me that 10 years ago, I would have probably argued with you for a good long time. But now I'm OK with it.

Anyway, I suppose it's time for bed. I hope I don't have any weird dreams like I had last night. I don't remember what they were or who was in them, but they were supremely messed up. Not cool, subconscious. Not cool.

Happy xmas everybody!

Back by popular (?) demand

First off, the main reason for my writing today (other than the fact that I can't sleep) is that someone actually asked why I haven't updated my blog in a while. You like me! You really like me! Anyway....

Today started off on kind of a bad note. I texted mom to see when xmas #1 was. It's usually the Sunday before the 25th, but sometimes it changes if regular xmas is on a weekend like it is this year. So mom informed me that it was today, and also that she already told Grandma I wasn't coming. Except she forgot to inform me. Until that point, of course, which was an hour before the party started. And given that it was a 2 hour drive and I was still in bed, well, you can see why this is becoming less and less possible by the minute. So I was bummed that I missed out, but me and sis can go see Grandma next weekend.

But then, as I continued to stumble through my Sunday routine (i.e. drag myself out of bed and move to the couch), my friend and former (x2) coworker Andy made a wonderful suggestion: SNOWBOARDING! I know by this point that if you're reading my blog and are unaware of the fact that I love snowboarding, you must be lost. I suggest you navigate away from this page immediately, or better yet, just walk away from your computer and find a book go read. You'd be much better off.

Anyway. Yes. Snowboarding. We went to Cascade. It wasn't too full, which was nice. And here's a fun tip: If you get there after 3:30 (which we did), lift tix are only $26! Since Andy and I both love being cheap, this was truly a wondrous discovery. So we bought our tickets and took a couple of pulls of Jamo out of the flask on the lift on the way up and had a grand old time. Conditions were pretty good, and all the runs were open. I also would like to point out that I haven't been to the gym in a week, and I haven't been lifting nearly as much as I have in years past to prep for snowboarding, but I still think I did pretty well. I only actually fell once, and it wasn't even from catching an edge... it was from going too slow! hah!

And so, for today, I have declared myself the winner.

Other updates: work... is work. I'm excited for our white elephant exchange tomorrow. I usually suck at these coworker gift things quite terribly, but I think that at least part of my gift will be appreciated, in some strange demented way. I'm also looking forward to New Year's so I can start on my resolutions. I'm sure I'll have another meaningful blubbering post about those come 1/1/11, because I usually do. I suppose if you're looking for something regular about this blog, you can always count on a new years resolution post, and another one for lent complaining about how I've been sucking at my new year's resolutions for the last 3 months and i'm giving myself a do-over.

ALSO. Since I think I'm far enough away from Halloween to be out of the woods: I have gone the entire length of the Halloween season WITHOUT CONSUMING CANDY CORN! Not a single one! I'm really proud of myself because said corn is usually responsible for about 2 lbs of life-ruining "holiday cheer." So go me on that.

I would also like to tell you that I had an all-Milwaukee dining weekend. Dinner Friday was the Lakefront Fish Fry with Jason, which was delicious as usual. Our server, Max, was quite awesome and deserving of 3 high-5s. Saturday's dinner was Cafe La Scala at the Italian Community Center, which I had heard rumors of but had never witnessed until this day, and let me tell you, it was AMAZING. Definitely undervalued within the city of Milwaukee. Thanks to Tony and Ross for being my hott dates. I will surely be back. (And stop calling me Shirley!)

Other stuff: I don't deal well with change, but some of it seems to be looming on the horizon. Does anybody have a "how to suck it up and deal with change for dummies" book I can borrow? And no, it's not the fun exciting new car type of change either... grr...

Anyway, it's an hour after I got in bed and I'm still pretty much wide awake. I suppose falling asleep might be more easily facilitated if I'd actually close my laptop and turn out the light, but I'm not sure that will work, given how last week went. Oh well.... here goes nothing!